I like to cruise. Back and forth, looking left, then right. It’s great to be the most badass fish in the ocean. That’s me. Look at ‘em scatter! I can eat anything! The Universe is my bitch! What does not kill me, makes me stronger. And NOTHING kills me. All those limp-finned wimps out there can suck on my dorsal. I’m a shark among minnows! I go back 400 million years. Longer than the dinosaurs. BETTER than the dinosaurs! Like those pussy Tyrannosaurus Rex—with their pussy seal-baby arms. (Waving his arms.) “Look at me! I’m a little dino-pussy!”
So, if you wanna be part of this, and make Earth the best planet in the Galaxy, you’re gonna vote for me for top animal. Be a part of a winner! Thank you. Better yet, you should thank me.