SKEPTIC: You know, I can understand the attraction of religion—very comforting—but I keep stumbling over the details.
BELIEVER: What do you mean?
SKEPTIC: Well, one of the basics of scientific thought is the idea of experimental reproducibility.
BELIEVER: Yeah, so what?
SKEPTIC: Take this example; if I put sugar in my coffee, it will dissolve.
SKEPTIC: And if you put sugar in coffee it should do the same. It should be reproducible, right?
BELIEVER: Right. But why do I feel there’s a gotcha coming?
SKEPTIC: Because there is. I just don’t believe in magic, that’s all.
BELIEVER: Now you’ve completely lost me.
SKEPTIC: What do you think would happen if you tried to walk on water like Jesus? Do you have magical powers?
BELIEVER: That wasn’t magic. That was a miracle!
SKEPTIC: What’s the difference? Oh, and tell me, what would you say if your daughter came home with a miraculous, magical, virginal, pregnancy?
BELIEVER: You really are annoying.
SKEPTIC: Oh, and was Jesus really haploid?
BELIEVER: What is that?
SKEPTIC: Look it up—I would suggest a science book.
BELIEVER: Arrogant bastard.
SKEPTIC: I’m just saying--
BELIEVER: —Well, stop saying. And leave my daughter out of your stupid arguments. Why don’t you just go away?
SKEPTIC: (sigh) It gets lonely in an evidence-based universe.