How a Skeptic Gets Into Trouble: A Short Play

BELIEVER:  My back has been hurting, so I went to the acupuncturist yesterday.

SKEPTIC:  Sore back, eh?  That’s a bummer.  Hope it’s not serious.

BELIEVER:  I feel better.  Seems to have worked.  So, what do you think of acupuncture?  Ever tried it?

SKEPTIC:  I thought about it, but recent data have shown that it really doesn’t do anything beyond the placebo effect.

BELIEVER:  Data, schmata, I feel better.

SKEPTIC:  I’m sure you do.

BELIEVER:  So, how can you say it doesn’t do anything?  And what’s the placebo effect?

SKEPTIC:  The placebo effect is the psychological boost you get from the treatment, that isn’t really caused by the treatment itself.

BELIEVER:  So, you’re saying it’s all in my head?

SKEPTIC:  No, not exactly, I’m saying that it works, but it works no better than a sham treatment.

BELIEVER:  What’s a sham treatment?

SKEPTIC:  A control, a fake treatment.

BELIEVER:  So, it’s psychosomatic.  I’m faking it.

SKEPTIC:  No, everybody, everybody who believes, benefits from the placebo effect.

BELIEVER:  My acupuncturist said that it’s been around for ten thousand years.

SKEPTIC:  That doesn’t make it valid.  I just want evidence that it works. 

BELIEVER:  I told you, it works for me.

SKEPTIC:  I guess it won’t help to tell you that, for some reason, sham acupuncture, actually seems to work better than the treatment.

BELIEVER: So, you’re saying I’m full of it, my acupuncturist is a liar, and ten thousand years of wisdom is baloney, and the fake treatment works better than the real thing.  That’ll make you popular.

SKEPTIC:  (sigh) It gets lonely in an evidence-based universe.