Scot Bastian Ph.D.
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Math and Science Suck

10/25/2014

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I have some ISSUES with some scientists and mathematicians. Some examples follow.

Sir Isaac Newton 
You know, one more prismatic color, and a little bit of shuffling, and we could have had IB GROOVY instead of ROY G BIV. Damn you Newton! You coulda done better!

Pierre de Fermat
Yeah, sure you had a a clever proof for your theorem that you just couldn't quite fit into the margin of your book. Yeah, right. Sure you did. Well, I call bullshit. You just wanted to mess with people--and it worked--for 358 years. Come on. Admit it. You never had a proof. What a poser.

Albert Einstein
Albert, you suck! If E didn't equal MC squared, we might be able to exceed the speed of light, and make interstellar travel a practical reality. Even Neil deGrasse Tyson thinks we probably can't do it. Go re-work your math, willya?..and quit messing with my dreams.

Charles Darwin
You suck too! If Lamarck had been right, then parents might be able to pass a college education on to their kids without paying for it. I hope epigenetics kicks your bearded ass! Go back to staring at barnacles ya loser!

James Watson and Francis Crick
You two guys can go suck an egg. It woulda been a whole lot easier to visualize DNA replication and transcription if you made it flat instead of all twisty. Fix that, dammit!

Gads! You math- and scientist-types are getting on my nerves. Makin' things so dang complicated! What pests!

Oh, and one more thing--about Pi--I'm rounding it down to 3.141. And if you don't like it, STUFF IT UP YOU NOSE.

Sheesh.

Quote:
      

    "Everything should be made as simple as possible,
    but not simpler.
"  Source unclear



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This Week in Mating Dances

10/14/2014

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Play them all at once for a surreal experience.
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Global March For Elephants and Rhinos October 4th.

10/1/2014

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A few weeks ago I gave a talk to The Seattle Skeptics about Elephants. I also blogged about theses magnificent beasts here and here. A recording of the talk is available through the previous links. The talk was really directed at a general discussion about some of the skeptical issues surrounding elephant biology, such as, are elephants capable of artistic creation? Do elephants show altruistic behavior? Are they really afraid of mice? What I didn't really discuss is how endangered these magnificent animals are. Sadly, according to this article from the Smithsonian, "The World Wildlife Fund estimates that 470,000 to 690,000 African elephants remain in the wild...
[but]...elephant poaching began picking up in 2008 and peaked in 2011, with around 40,000 animals killed that year alone."  The war on poaching continues. The problem of poaching of rhinos is even more dire.
    Most of the poaching is a response to the black market demand for elephant ivory and rhino horn, primarily in Eastern countries. This demand is completely nonsensical, since there are ample plastic substitutes for elephant ivory. Heck, there is even a plant substitute in the form of "vegetable ivory," which is derived from the endosperm of palm seeds. Poaching of rhinoceros makes even less sense. Rhino horn, which is used as a folk medicine to treat a variety of ailments (primarily cancer), but also, of all things, hangovers, is composed mainly of keratin--the same stuff in nails and hair. It would be a tragedy to lose African elephants and rhinos for such ridiculous reasons.
    But, my intent in this blog entry is not to provide an exhaustive treatise about elephant or rhinoceros biology. I want to provide publicity for the Global March For Elephants and Rhinos which will take place this Saturday October 4th. The above link has more info about events that might be near you. There will be protests in many locations. The local Seattle event, which I intend to attend, will take place in the International Children's Park beginning at Noon. I urge you to attend. The Facebook Event page, lists the following speakers and events:

Tom Skerritt, Actor and Conservationist
Lisa Kane JD, Lawyer, Co-Author and Co- Editor of An Elephant in the Room
Wendie Wendt, Lawyer, Executive Director of Big Life Foundation. Former Board Member of PAWS, Former Vice President and Director of Fundraising for U.S Friends of The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust.
Comedian Cathy Sorbo will be Emceeing the event!
We are excited to announce that we will have African Drummers!

So, I hope to see you Saturday. Let's do what we can to prevent the hunting to extinction of these magnificent animals.

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    Scot Bastian Ph.D. is a scientist and artist who lives in Seattle WA.

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