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DYT Blogger: So, Mr. Phrogg--

PPP: Oh, please, call me Phineas.

DYT Blogger: As you wish. Phineas, what is it like to share the big screen with stars like, George Cluney and Sandra Bullock?

PPP: Well, I have to say, that they are consummate professionals. It was a real honor. Both of them were so very easy to work with. They're like Michael Jordans of the film world.  Not only are they fantastic, but they make everyone around them better too. I wish them the best of luck in their respective careers, and you can bet that they're on my short-list should an appropriate role be available for them in one of my future projects.

DYT Blogger: That's very gracious of you, Mr. Phro--er, I mean Phineas. Did it bother you at all that they seemed to get more screen-time than you?

PPP: Oh, not at all. I feel like they were a great lead-in to my scene, which was, of course, the climax.

DYT Blogger: ...and a captivating climax it was, I'll say.

PPP: Thank you.

DYT Blogger: Although, it did seem a rather small role for an artist of your stature...

PPP: There are no small roles, only small minds, sir.

DYT Blogger: Righto! So why, exactly, weren't you featured earlier in the film?

PPP:  Simple: Logistics.

DYT Blogger: What do you mean?

PPP:  They simply couldn't find a space suit of suitable proportions to fit me--although your point is well-taken--next time I think I'll instruct my agent to negotiate for a custom-made space suit.

DYT Blogger: Perhaps for a sequel?

PPP:  If there is a sequel.  My time is valuable, and--how shall I express it--my dance card is filling up. Perhaps though i might be able to squeeze in another cameo.

DYT Blogger: So tell me, or, let's say, tell the world, who have been some of your inspirations and mentors helping you to launch your illustrious career?  Kermit the frog, perhaps?

PPP: Ahem, you're walking on thin ice there.

DYT Blogger:  Thin ice?

PPP: That's a bit offensive, if you don't mind.

DYT Blogger:  Oh, so sorry Mr. Phrogg, no offense intended.

PPP:  Well, I'll just chalk it up to your ignorance. let me just say this, Kermit is, to frogs, what blackface is to African Americans--not funny. In fact, an insulting caricature. 

DYT Blogger: Oh, I apologize again.

PPP: ...and let me add, that like most of Hollywood, I'm quite tolerant of, how shall I say this, "unusual" relationships. But I can't wrap myself around Kermit's obsession with--I can hardly say it--a pig. That "Miss Piggy" is not only not a frog, she isn't even an amphibian. Beastly!  (PPP was breathless at this point.) Sorry.  I need a moment to recover from the thought.

DYT Blogger:  Perhaps we should change the subject.

PPP: Yes, let's do so.  Let's get back to the original subject: Me, that is.

DYT Blogger: Perhaps you could share who some of your inspirations are?

PPP: Well, this is exactly about me, but I'll roll with it.  Not exactly a model, but someone I admire is Peter Dinklage.

DYT Blogger: The dwarf actor in "Game of Thrones?"

PPP: Yes. Now there's and actor who goes against the grain. Before Peter it seemed that most dwarfs were portrayed as ridiculous. Remember "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?" Similar to him I seek to make the world treat both frogs and toads with the distinction and seriousness that is long overdue.

DYT Blogger: Of course.

PPP: Inexcusable stereotyping. But Dinklage broke that stereotype. On "Game of Thrones" he's clever, conniving, with extraordinary diplomatic intellectual guile, and quite the ladies man too.

DYT Blogger: That he is.

PPP: Of course he's not nearly as fecund as even the average frog, he is, after-all, a mammal. But anyway, I'm trying to separate from ridiculous frog-stereotyping in the same way. What Sidney Poitier is to racist black-face, Dinklage is to anti-dwafism, and I intend to be against anti-frogism. This, I hope, will be my cultural legacy.  Now, I'm very sorry, but I have to wrap this up. My agent has arranged a meeting with Stephen Spielberg and I'm already ten minutes late.

DYT Blogger: Thank you sir.

PPP: My pleasure.

That, DYT Blog readers, is the transcript of the interview with Phineas P. Phrogg, who I am sure will be showing us great things, no matter what pond he winds up in.


 


Comments

11/05/2013 9:07am

Yeah. Two thumbs up. That frog "had me from 'hello!'".

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